


Love is War [ Original Writing from DecemberSayer with Commentary from SinfulWordMaster. ]

by SinfulWordMaster



Series: Writting Challenge: Horrendous FanFictions [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter RPF
Genre: F/M, Horrible Fanfiction, here i go again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4913179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinfulWordMaster/pseuds/SinfulWordMaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I read on a FanFiction[dot]net commentary of this that the writers name is Madison or some shit. I think it's still Tara. I'm calling her Tara. Screw it. The writing is so much alike that it's seen as horrible. This is not going on Wattpad, let me ruin your minds and make fun of a shitty fanfic once more. I hope you like my commentary like you did with My Immortal. Giggle. I'm not gonna enjoy this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is War [ Original Writing from DecemberSayer with Commentary from SinfulWordMaster. ]

**I read on a FanFiction[dot]net commentary of this that the writers name is Madison or some shit. I think it's still Tara. I'm calling her Tara. Screw it. The writing is so much alike that it's seen as horrible. This is not going on Wattpad, let me ruin your minds and make fun of a shitty fanfic once more. I hope you like my commentary like you did with My Immortal. Giggle. I'm not gonna enjoy this.**

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**Chapter One Summary:** Cara Queen **[Cara Queen? Yay. How fun. More Mary Sues!]** goes 2 howarts! She is bffs with Fred and Jorge! **[George..!]** She has a problum! She loves them both! **[Gross. A love triangle with a shitty Mary Sue. Great. Just what we need.]** And Snepe is up to somthin EVILLLLLLLLLL! **[Snepe..? For the love of all that is holy..!]** Reposted afta 2 whole years! (frum fanfic.net so it xactly the same) **[How fun. Not really.]**

Chapter One Notes: HEY GUYZ IM BAKKKKK! **[God damn. So much fucking caps!]** ITZ BIN 2 WHOLE YEARZ! I FINALY GOT UNGRONDED 4 FAILING SKOOL 2 TIMES. **[Did you fail spelling and English twice? If not, you should have.]** DA TEACHRS R JUS JELOUS OF MY G8 RITING SKILS! **[What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Your writing skills are horrid.]** DEN MY COMPUTA BROKE SO I MADE MY MOM MOVE MY STORI INTO 1 DOCUMENT 4 ME! SHE LABELED DA CHAPTAS! U NO IM STIL MAD DAT FF ALOWED SPICYTACOS TO STAY BUT NUT ME! **[I wonder why.]**

MY SISTA SAID NO 1 REDS ME STOREE BECUZ ITZ CONDENSED AND GIVE PPL HEAD ACHES! **[Your sister is correct. They do give headaches. Listen to your little and or older sister.]** SO I GOT MY MOM 2 CHANGE THE FORMTA! SHE IZ VRY PROUD OF ME! SHE SAD DAT SHE IS SO HAPY 2 SEE ME READ  & RITE BECUZ SHE DIDNT TINK I COULD WATEVA THAT MEANS! **[Hahaha!]**

**Chapter ONE! Inrto Cara**

A/N THISSSSSS IS MY NEW STORY PLZ READ AND REVIREW! I KNOW YOU WILL LUV IT!!!!! **[I hate it already.]**

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My name is Caroline Olivia Queen **[Here we go with the weird names once more. At least this one is semi normal.]** and I attend Hogwarts.Every one calls me Cara for short because I HATEE my first name and I have a problem **[Yes. You have a grammar problem and it needs to be fixed with several years of grammar school and learn how to read, write, and most likely speak the English language correctly.] I am in love with Fred and Jorge Weasly. [George, god damnit!]** They r My BEST FRIENDS! We gone too Hogeasrts **[The fuck is that?]** together since we were in the first year.

I hace long beautiful chochlate colored brown hair that fell in perfecjt curls down my back. **[This entire sentence is horrible. One; you did not need to add the detail of chocolate colored hair if you were going to say brown. It's just condescending. And curls don't fall perfectly over your back or shoulders.]** I styled my hair down. **[Uh huh...]** I had light blue eyes. Blue as a freshwater river. **[If you like dim blue them go right ahead.]** I have a VERY curvy figure. **[So, you're flawless, then? Great. Incorrect way of writing.]** I am petite and small. **[Please, don't go on.]** ALOT of people seem to love me. **[Such a horrible ego.]** Probably because I am very nice and kidhearted! I give money to the homeles and orphands too! **[Wow. That is the worst thing I have ever read. In reality it's great, for a Mary Sue to do this is so egotistical and wants to make everyone think that she's so immortal and so flawless so the writer adds this bullshit.]** Everyone sayes they love to be around me. **[I wouldn't.]** I also love to prank with Fred and Jorge. We love pranking Snepe but we never get caught! **[Snape! S. N. A. P. E. What the fuck.]** I am in griffindor with them. **[Wrong spelling you dipshit.]** I dont no if they like me or not. Being around them makes me fell all nervous and fuzt inside! **[Fuzt..?]**

My story begone now when I was on the train. Waiting to arrive at the school I attend, Hogwarts. Then my frends walk in the compartment I was sitting.

“Hello” say Fred and Jorge at the same time. **[Are you going to use the spelling of Jorge all the time? Do you not know how the spelling of George goes..? Are you that stupid of a child to not be able to understand that it's not a J..?]**

“Hi” I said back.

the rest of the train ride we eats stuff from the troly such as chochlate and caramel Then we arrived at Hogwarts. **[Nice use of invisible punctuation, there.]** Hogwarts is a big castle big enough for all the students ti sleep in. **[No shit, Sherlock.]**

“Were here” I said very excitedly. **[God damnit.. Here we go with the adverb usage again..]** You see I luv Hogwarts more then home. Hom,e is boring since I live alone. **[People get tired of your way of grammar. I bet you even use this when you speak.]** I am a orphan thit is why I luv giving them money and understangin. **[I don't buy this one bit.]** I dont like being alone I am a people person! My parents die when I was young about 4 actually. **[Everyone's parents die apparently if they are a Mary Sue.]** A year later I met the weaslys. My parents were killed by death eaters and Voldomort hisself. **[Of fucking course they were.]**

Me Fred and Jorge walked into the grate Hall. I sat betwen them at the griffindor table. I smiled as I ate my chicken thinking of all the pranks we were going to do this year.

“So Cara what r we going to prank snape with this year” said fred happily. “tink we should turn his hair pink!!!” **[Tink..? For fucks sake.]**

“OMG That would be soo funny.” I cheered. **[This isn't a text message. Write it out as oh my God.]**

“I agre” agreed Jorge. **[Uuhhh..]** Then Dumledore **[Here we go again...]** said we had to go to bed since it was VERY late. **[Yes; let us skip everything and tell everyone to go to bed in the middle of eating.]**

I went up to my dorm bed and fell asleep. **[Please don't wake up.]**

The next morning I went in the grate hall with fred and Jorge. Snape walked into the grate hall with PINK HAIR! **[So childish and dumb.]** Snape glared at us and sat next to hagrid. He didnt look very happy. Dumledore was eating his waffles.

“Hey cupcake, how about we make out” Dumbledore saaid to Snape who walks inro grate hall. **[Okay. I like Yaoi as much as the next person, but no. Please don't fucking do this. This is just disgusting and not needed. It's horrendous to even think of this and it's so out of character it's shitty. Please stop and find something else to do with your life other than shipping Dumbledore and Snape together..]**

“no thank you dumbdore!” insulted Snape. **[Thank God.]**

Me Jorge and fred **[The use of commas are invisible.]** laughed at the headmaster being rejected. WE **[Such an enthusiactic we.]** then finished our meals and went to classes.

First we had potions then we had a bunch of other claasses. **[Great detail on them classes.]**

I sat in the back row nxt to Fred and Jorge. Snape walked in the clasroom and glared at us.

“miss cara, you have detention for my hair.” **[Wow. That's hilarious but really stupid. A teacher wouln't give a student detention for giving them pink hair.]**

“I dont do anything I responeded **[Uh huh.]**

“I kn’w it was you. You will report ti my class room after lunch and dont think about doin any homeworK!” Snape said. I was shocked. we never got caught befour. Snape must have been up to something EVIL! **[This entire little paragraph is disgusting in the grammar catogory. You kill my brain just as much as Tara did.]**

I ate my pizza and soda for lunch. Then I went to sbnapes classroom for detention…[ **Sbnapes..? Wow.]**

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **[Please don't..!]**

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**Lmao. If you like my commentary, similar to My Immortal's commentary, tell me and I'll continue! Harsh criticism is welcome.~  
**


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